my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
