i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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