Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
