and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
