i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
