Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
