I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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