Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
