I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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