I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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