No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
