based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
