go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
