i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
