i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We're not piercing ourselves today.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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