I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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