Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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