apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
