HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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