Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
