You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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