I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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