Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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