either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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