the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
