He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
