Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
