The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
