no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
