Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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