just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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