I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
