She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
