He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
