Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
