He kissed a someone with a penis
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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