Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
