jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
