my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
