what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
