My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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