You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
