there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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