I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
