well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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