I'm really into asian looking animals
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
