dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
