Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
