It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Are we still banned from the library?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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