I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My pussy is not your playground.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize