I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
