Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
