I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize
