Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
